403 Days (and I am back)

It has been a few years since I made the time to sit down an write. A quick recap of what I have been up to in the past few years: went back to work, came back home, got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, started a home daycare and had another kid, known to his closest friends and family (and this blog)as Ninja. Great kid but gets into everything. Kid, the oldest one started kindergarten and comes home with attitude. Boy doing well. Dog still alive and fond of Kid and Ninja. In 403 days I turn 40. I am not okay with this. I joke that you will find me on that date curled up in the foetal position singing sad show tunes. I go through my day playing, doing house things, listening to music way too loud and forget. I look in the morning and don't see a middle aged woman....unless I lift up my bangs and see the line on my forehead. I look down and I do not like what I see. I have researched ways to restore my body surgically and chemically with wraps and lasers and lotions and am tempted. I put on this weight with two kids, a limited diet and being lazy. I have always hated exercise and loathed gym class as a kid. I am heedless so have a tendency to crash into things. So what do I do if I want to fight this stomach and that number? Starting today, I have begun an exercise regimen. I would like to monitor my diet but for me, every damn meal I "keep" is a victory. A huge victory if I actually get to enjoy it. There will be a few adjustments made to help me eat with more success. Apparently I can eat oatmeal....I won't enjoy it....it's gross. I am already getting it from under the evil (yet oh so good) influence of carbs. I am mildly celiac so maybe that would be a plan. I am my biggest hurdle to overcome. Gyms are awesome places full of happy, endorphin filled people. They also cost a shitload of money. I am a mom with a guilt complex who is not willing to spend that kind of money on myself. My therapist (yes I have one of those too)keeps trying to reinforce that spending money and time on myself is an investment in myself. Maybe someday I will finally feel worthy but not yet. I am also pragmatic so I downloaded apps. I am starting with a seven minute workout app for the mornings and then yoga with the kids in the afternoons. I started running last summer and will get out again in the spring with the new jogging stroller. Is this a lot? No, not really. So many of you are fit people and I aspire to be. I remember talking about fitness with a super fit (and possibly robotic) person I know and instead of being encouraging I got derision and discouragement. I can't. We read stories like The Little Engine That Could to our kids then turn around and discourage others from taking positive steps to make ourselves feel better. The next time you feel low on yourself pick your own damn self up instead of pushing others down. We need to stop this playground bullshit. After enjoying a fun and interactive workout with the Ninja I feel okay. I admit I ate a brownie (a small one) but damnit I started something good. I might need to incorporate the Ninja into my workouts as he decided to climb on my back for a ride during push-ups. But I started something and in 403 days I will still be doing this. I am not doing this for the boy so I feel attractive again. I am not doing this to become Iron Mom and keep up with my kids. I am doing this because maybe I deserve to feel better. Maybe I deserve to look better. Maybe I deserve to feel strong. Maybe I deserve this. So please stay with me and be patient and kind. I hope you enjoy this journey with me. There will be tears, triumphs and cursing, definitely cursing. Be Kind, Jen xxoo

Naked Chicken Parmagiana and a Naked Baby

What a weird and wonderful day today was. After a couple of perfectly gorgeous days we had a day of rain, rain and more rain. I ventured out (apres nap) with The Kid and Good Friend to finish outfitting the kid for the fall and winter. I already had a number of clothes for her but it is incredible how many she goes through. The more she demands the spoon to feed herself the more laundry I do. On the plus side The Dog is developing a much more sophisticated palate. As for the nudity...well I have one of Those Kids who insist on figuring out how to do everything and dismantle everything. I was off in retail heaven leaving Good Friend in charge of entertainment when I heard an "Ohmigod" then The Kid's name so I went to investigate. Out of sheer curiosity she managed to untie and remove her top in the store. This is not her first foray into nudity but her first public display of it as she often wakes up from a nap and removes her clothes or her diaper (while leaving her pants on). Her father should worry.
I also picked up a couple of pieces of clothing for myself which do not have the same level of cute that The Kid's wardrobe has. She can wear stripes and hearts and many colours and people think "what a cute outfit". If I wore similar looks people would think "what the hell?!".
I am feeling a bit of food guilt these days. I have not been cooking as much has I should be and I have not been overly inspired either. I have watched some Chow Network in order to find stuff I want to make but so far I just want to go out for big greasy burgers, make an awesome and funky wedding cake or run around a city eating weird food.
I think one of my deterrents has been that I am trying to lose about 5 pounds and inspire The Boy to do the same. When I cook for the people I love, I tend to create comfort dishes that are hearty and full of flavour. I am trying my hardest to come up with lower fat and healthier alternatives to the stuff we love.
I have been cooking and substituting anything white with whole grain substitutes such as quinoa and brown rice. Quinoa has a fantastic nutty flavour and is a terrific substitute for oatmeal in the morning (cook and serve with almond milk, fruit and a smidge of honey) or as a base for a grain salad (recipes to come next week). It has been called a supergrain as it is very high in fibre and good carbs and is very easy to cook. The downside is that it is not cheap. The box that I purchased was almost $8.
Brown rice is a more affordable base that can also be used in a myriad of different ways. I make up large batches mixed with red lentils and freeze in smaller amounts for a quick cook and serve. I like to use it as a substitute for ground meat in tacos, a base for veggie burgers and just sauteed with a bunch of fresh veggies and curry. The downside to brown rice is that it is a pain in the ass to cook and takes a lot longer than white rice.
Tonight I decided that I wanted to cook Italian a lower fat way with excellent results. The recipe for my Naked Chicken Parmigiana to follow. I combined my leftover tomato sauce with cauliflower, shredded carrot, shredded zucchini and whole wheat pasta as the side. A note about buying whole wheat pastas: be careful what you purchase and read your labels. A lot of people are duped by the words "Healthy" on the package and not notice that the pasta contains large amounts of sodium. Read the label carefully and NEVER buy anything that has more than 12% sodium. Can't lose weight? Bloat easily? Tire easily? Take a closer look at your pantry and how many items have 25% (or higher) sodium content. Health Canada and Canadian Diabetes Association websites have great information on label reading. It's worth learning, trust me.
Naked Chicken Parmigiana
2 thawed boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 can low sodium tomato sauce
1/2 can low sodium tomato paste
1 TBSP chopped fresh basil
1 TBSP chopped minced garlic
1 tsp dill
1 TBSP balsamic vinegar
ground black pepper to taste
cayenne pepper to taste or optional
2 TBSP low fat mozzarella shredded

-broil chicken breasts in 375 degree oven for about 15 mins (turn over halfway).
-in a saucepan over medium heat, combine the rest of the ingredients (except for the cheese) and let simmer while your chicken breasts are cooking.
-at 20 minute mark, remove chicken from oven and coat generously with some of the sauce. Top chicken with cheese and return to oven for another 10 minutes or so (until cheese melted and bubbling).
-Combine leftover sauce with pasta and vegetables and serve as a side with the chicken.
I am off to bed for another night of sleep training The Kid. It is one thing when they wake up and cry for you to come and cuddle them but playing in the middle of the night is another. We're also cutting another tooth so I have been torn between leaving her to comfort herself or comforting her myself. I think it's harder on me than her (and definitely than The Boy and The Dog who go downstairs to get some sleep). Just when you think that you are going to be strong, you cave in and you go to them and when they wrap their chubby arms around your neck and cover you with kisses you can't help but think that maybe it's not always a bad thing to be a softy once in a while.

Be happy!
J

Summer Brain

Summer brain has to be an actual medical condition. You have a list of things to do and get completely sidetracked by sunshine and birds and warmth. This happens a lot in my city as we seem to store up our solar energy to get us through our lousy winters.
In the last little while, The Kid and I were at the lake and dealing with more installations and stuff to do with the house. The most common practice though has been playing outside in the sun (both sporting liberal amounts of SPF 60).
We have had an almost equal amount of sunshine and rain this summer giving my first veggie garden an explosion of tomatoes. Every two days I have gone out and plucked off another half dozen ripening tomatoes. So far we have had salsa, bruschetta, toasted tomato sandwiches and the list goes on. One of my favourite things to make with a tomato is what I call:
Baked Inside Out Bruschetta
1 large tomato, sliced "pumpkin style" at the top and core and seeds removed
2 TBSP crumbled feta cheese
1 TBSP basil (fresh is better and chopped finely)
half a dozen croutons crumbled
garlic to taste
black pepper to taste

-chop up the top of the tomato and combine in a bowl all of the other ingredients leaving about half of the feta and mix well.
-spoon mixture into the cored tomato.
-Top with remaining feta.
-Toast in oven or toaster oven (on a cookie sheet or pie plate) for about 15 minutes on 250 or until feta is slightly browned.
-Let cool and dig in!

I would suggest making this as an hors d'ouevres for dinner guests but I don't like to share. A variation on this is to fill the tomato with a mixture of cooked wild rice, chopped fresh basil and chopped mushrooms. Saute the mixture in a frying pan, cool then add to the tomato. Top with a small amount cheese of your choice ( a sharp cheddar works well or fresh mozzarella)or just garnish with a fresh basil leaf.

Another way to prep fresh tomatoes for guests is to put out my version of anti-pasto.
Chop and core 2-3 large tomatoes
Chop 1 cup (combined) red, yellow and green peppers
1/2 cup sliced black olives
1 TBSP extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp black pepper
1 minced garlic clove
1 tbsp chopped fresh basil.
Mix all of the ingredients and let stand in the fridge for at least an hour. Serve with slices of a nice chewy baquette lightly toasted and brushed with olive oil.

Cloudy and rainy day here today so off to the mall with The Boy and The Kid. Sadly, I am thinking of sweaters today.

Be happy.

Leftovers and filling the fridge

What on earth have I bought?

We have been in the house for a week now and cooking has been a bit of a challenge. Time is limited because the kid won't stay content in one place for longer than 20 minutes unless she is eating. We have done the big restock grocery shop but still have managed to buy nothing. There is a lot of baby food but that is a little limited for adult meal plans unless you are on that stupid Hollywood "Baby Food Diet" (which would be effective if you have ever smelled the peas). Before the move was the eat your way out of the freezer diet which eventually left us with the fabulous pairing of corn and hashbrowns. Oddly enough, the freezer currently has corn and hashbrowns and not much else.
I am loving the gas stove and how well it cooks everything. The novelty of cooking perfect rice will hopefully wear off soon so we can maybe try a different side dish. I did boil potatoes for a garlic mash last night and they cooked evenly and perfectly. Adding garlic powder directly to mashed potatoes can be overpowering and adding fresh or minced directly can add it to your teeth and give the spuds a funky texture. To maximize the flavour, add the fresh or minced garlic into the potato pot while they are boiling to infuse them with the flavour.
The very best part of making mashed potatoes are the leftovers that follow. In our family there were two options for leftover mashed potatoes: fry them up the next day until they developed a bit of a crust or potato cakes. Potato cakes are probably one of the best reasons for potatoes to exist and one of the easiest things to do with them. Take the cold leftover mashed potatoes out of the fridge, add small amounts of flour to them and mix well until you have a play dough type consistency. Roll your mixture in a piece of plastic wrap so you have a 2-3 inch tube of potatoly goodness. Unwrap and then slice into 1 inch thick circles. Cook the patties in a frying pan with some melted butter until each side is golden brown. Serve with ketchup (of course).
If you are like me and enjoy the treasures that a late night visit to the fridge yields, a cold potato cake with ketchup is one of the best (even better if there is a cold piece of bacon to wash it down with).
Eat well,
Jennifer

Starting From Scratch: Episode One

Growing up I was always told that girls could do anything that boys could do. My mother was and is an excellent example of this. The woman could whip up any meal from scratch after a long day of mudding and taping drywall for one of the many reno projects that I seemed to grow up in. Mom is one of those annoying people who seemingly can do anything. My brother is another. He found tent poles at a sale, bought them, rewelded them and then sewed a (fire and waterproof) tent customized to his needs. I hate people like that.
I am not one of those people. When I took up painting, the instructor generously commented that I have a modern and abstract style...during still life class. My mom was the class mom who always came in with some awesome craft idea that even a monkey could do. I always seemed to make a glue blob. The one thing I liked doing that I seemed to do well at was cooking. I love to cook. I hate to bake but I love to cook. It was really hard to get any practice as it as there was a hierarchy in the house as to who was cooking: my mom, my brother (who would whip up tiramisu for girlfriend's birthdays), my dad, New China Kitchen, Junior's and then me. It was like my secret identity was mild-mannered clueless kid by day and Iron Chef by night. It seemed that the general impression was that I had the culinary ability to nuke a can of soup or a Pizza Pop. I spent years watching my mom and countless cooking shows back when there was no Food Network and celebrity chefs. No one had any idea why I loved watching Wok with Yan so much or the Frugal Gourmet.
As I got older and started to work, I was often left to my own devices as my parents were able to take time to go to the lake. My older brother would move out and into his own home with a freezer full of pies and homemade buns (hate that guy) and it was just me and occasionally the dog. What on earth did they think I was eating if I could not cook?
I cook out of necessity now. After years of lofty goals, crippling self esteem issues, some laziness, fear of failure I did not conquer the world as I thought that I was meant to. I have jumped from job to job collecting a paycheck but not a career of any note. I married one of my best friends and I am now a stay at home mom to a gorgeous but challenging baby who may or may not turn out to be an evil genius. Despite my many feminist ideals I have become (the horror) a homemaker and I love it. I get up very early with The Kid and we start our day with a play, have lots of giggles, some housework, gardening, and more play. I also have The Dog who is my trusty sidekick and the most neurotic creature in the house. There is also The Boy who is my champion and greatest culinary fan.
It is my hope that this blog becomes a place where I talk about food, glorious food and share my lifestory through food, recipes, anecdotes and life. My tongue will often be found firmly in my cheek, I will share some of my less than stellar results in the world of domestic bliss and there will be a little music along the way. I like with equal love bacon, broccoli, hummous, cheddar cheese, really good croutons, my spaghetti sauce, bacon, steak, Mexican, Greek, Japanese, crazy ass spices and carbs. I have 5 pounds of baby weight to lose, my sanity to regain and a new house to organize.
Pull up a chair and join me.